My Break-Up With My Sister

A couple of weeks ago, I finally broke up with my sister.

I've started to realize all relationships are the same, be it that of family, friend, or lover.  They all take a certain amount of work, understanding, and patience, among much other characteristics.  Having realized that perhaps my older sister isn't ready to deal with everything that's happened, I realized I needed to get rid of our unhealthy relationship.  I'm a worrier, and I worried about her way too much. I realized I just need to stop worrying about her, stop thinking about her, and the easiest way to do that was to just stop.

So I stopped.

I sent her a letter letting her know that I wasn't going to be attempting to keep our relationship going as much as I'd been trying in the past. It was important for me to try to explain that my not-talking-to-her was different from her not-talking-to-us, because I didn't want her to use this as validation for her past actions. I needed her to realize that I was only not-talking to her, and only because she was a pretty negative presence in my life, not on purpose, but as a result of her avoidance.  So I sent her this email trying to explain all that, and I guess she became pretty confused, and asked my younger sister why I was SO angry with her, and what she should do to resolve the new issues that have suddenly come up.

My older sister, is, apparently, Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory, because she just really is not good with emotion at all.

However, it did help me realize that I was angry at her, not overly so, just that I was finally allowing myself to feel angry at her, and not on behalf of others. I'm sorry if I wrote about this in a different post, but I'd felt angry at her on behalf of my family this entire time, and I was only know letting myself feel angry with her, without any guilt.

It's been nice. I didn't have to think about her, worry about her, these past few weeks, and it was really liberating.  I worried about myself, for a change, and I didn't worry about all the bad things I'd done, but I focused and worried about all the good changes I've recently been making in my life....thank God....I might finally be making progress????

It really just goes to show, a bad relationship is a bad relationship, and getting rid of it is much healthier than trying to cling to it.

This doesn't mean I'll never talk to my older sister again, it just means I'll work with her on our relationship when she's ready to commit, other wise, I won't spend time worrying about it when I could be worrying about better things.